His Timing

"In order for God to grow you, He must break you down… and it hurts sometimes. He places you in circumstances and trials not because He likes to see you suffer, but simply because He profoundly loves you enough to grow you. And when you feel like your happiness has been trumped by your sadness…hope wins in the end. God has proven Himself true to me again and again—all it takes is a little faith and a lot of patience. Every time you surmount a struggle, you have learned something… it may have been something simple or something completely unexpected and confounding, but you have finally grasped how to hit a homerun with the curveballs life throws at you. And the next time you face a similar situation, there is no hesitancy in your mind but rather complete confidence in God’s ability to bring hope to the rescue—maybe not in your timing, but in His, which, in the end, is the best timing."

As we get to know God,
we will learn to trust him more;
as we learn to trust him,
we will learn to love him more.
And as we learn to love him,
we won't love the world so much.

Summertime

It has been quite some time since I’ve posted last. There is no promise of more frequent posts; however, I thought an update was due.

Summer has quickly approached and with a whirlwind it’s quickly passing faster than I can keep up. I walked into a cloud of uncertainty this summer, not knowing whether I’d stay in Greenville or be at home in Raleigh. Turns out I’m in Raleigh for now, with the slim chance I’ll end up going back to Greenville. I think regardless I would have been happy, but I have to admit I’m content where I am. There’s just something special about being home. I’m still working at Starbucks and hanging out with friends about every chance I get. It’s nice to get a break from school and just chill. I need that solitude and fun in my life.

It’s a scary time in my life, too. As I’m approaching my senior year (….did you read that?! My SENIOR year!), my future is so undetermined and confusing. I know what I want but I have no certainty that what I want will actually happen. We can plan our lives out to the most intricate detail, but chances are that they will not go the way we expect them to. I guess that’s part of life—which is a really hard thing for such a planned, organized person as myself to deal with. But it’s been such a release for me to have to let go what I have planned for my life and trust that what God has for me is better, whatever that might be. With nothing to cling to, God has forced me to fully rely on his plan for my future. At this point I can plan no further, I’ve done all I can do.

All I can do is surrender. I suppose for now I will enjoy my summer and welcome whatever my future may hold for me when the time comes. Oh, sweet summertime.

21

Happy Birthday to me...

25 More Things

So, a while back on Facebook I posted "25 Things" random things about myself. Since then, in my absence of Facebook (I've abstained from it for Lent--which is really good for your free time. You should try it sometime.), I've kept thinking about more random things about my life. Thus, I will share a few more things:

I cannot do a cartwheel.

I hate watching myself in videos.

I hate hearing my own recorded voice.

I love colored shorts with picture icons on them.

I say I'm "musically challenged," but that doesn't mean that I don't like music! I'll listen to just about anything.

I don't get brain freezes.

I prefer a chocolate flavor over a fruit flavor any day.

My favorite flower is a pink stargazer lily. They remind me of when I was a flower girl my aunt's wedding.

I love watching other people dance.

I sleep with a pillow on my stomach.

I'm not one of those girls who has every detail of their wedding planned out. It hardly crosses my mind. When the time comes, I'll plan. For now, I'm letting God handle the plan.

I love plaid.

I’m intensely bothered by the sound of crying/whining children.

I think cadvers are really interesting. I can't wait to take gross anatomy in grad school.

I have two birthmarks: a small pink circle over my belly button and a red line along the side of my left foot.

I very much dislike casually being called “honey,” “sweetie,” “baby,” “sweetheart,” or anything of the like.

I love coffee table books.

Easter is my favorite holiday, not for pastels and bunnies, but for the celebration that my Savior has risen and that I worship a living God.

I love Carolina. GO HEELS!

Young Life is a huge part of my life. I wouldn't trade 10-15 extra hours of free time I would have each week if I wasn't a leader. I've been immensely blessed by my team, my fellow leaders, the community that supports me, my spiritual growth, and the relationships I've built with the beautiful, wonderful girls at Conley.

If you give me a jar of Nutella, it will disappear within a few days.

I have always found pathology extremely interesting. It's probably why I love House so much.

My favorite number in Spanish is 14 (catorce...what a beautiful word!).

I really like lighthouses...Cape Hatteras, especially.

I don't really like jeans. I prefer skirts, dresses, or shorts.

I originally said I didn't like olives. I tried them again recently and discovered they’re not that bad.

I love spicy food, but I can't tolerate much of it.

I took two years of figure skating in middle school. I quit figure skating for two years of art classes. I quit art classes for two years of track. I guess you could say I was "well-rounded."

I like cats much more than I like dogs.



The end.

Time for a Break

Spring break was such a restful time for me this year. I usually end up going home to Raleigh to work or travel to Jersey to see family instead of wasting way all my hard-earned money on some exotic trip (which would be incredible if funds allowed).

I was anticipating some fun adventure to arise during my week home but it ended up being plain and simple: work, friends, and family. But I think that’s exactly what I needed. I didn’t work too much, I got to sleep-in almost everyday, spent a ton of time with my Raleigh crew that I hardly see enough of, and shared precious time with my family. I never really get “homesick,” (after all Raleigh is only 1.5 hrs away from Greenville) but being home really made me appreciate and miss the wonderful community I have in Raleigh, which is equally, if not better, than the one I have at ECU.

Let me tell you, it’s been rough getting back into the swing of things this week. I have a huge midterm in Cell Phys Thursday that I’m not nearly prepared for. I definitely took the “break” part of spring break, so coming back to studying, early mornings, and Young Life club being thrown in my face the second I got back has taken a bit of time to get re-adjusted to. I’m ready for summer already, but I know I have my time to put in before I get there. Onto the second half of the semester we go! Oh boy.

Beautiful Stars

Anyone who knows me well knows of my fascination of stars, or really just the sky in general. I could star gaze for hours on end. Some of the most peaceful, enchanting moments of my life have been spent with my head tilted towards black sky filled with white sparkles. It’s mesmerizing and so beyond my mind to think of all the wonder that space holds. I absolutely love it!

Maybe this will reveal my inner “nerd,” but I’ll admit that I frequently check NASA’s Astronomy Picture of the Day: http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html.

For whatever reason, I feel compelled to share a few photos. Enjoy. :)

Mauna Kea Milky Way

The Eagle Nebula

Orion's Belt

The Great Carina Nebula

4th Picture

"Find the 4th picture in your 4th album and post it along with a short blurb about the picture. Then tag two people ."

Quinny tagged me and I need a break from studying for my Biomechanics test tomorrow, so here:

I was hoping for a more exciting picture, but this was the chosen one. Although the more I thought about it, this photo represents many significant memories of mine. This is me, Janie, and Kate. Kate and I were day camp counselors together at New Life Camp the summer of 2006. Janie was one of the hilarious girls in our huddle. I looked back to my Xanga to recall anything that happened that week. This is what I found:

i love working at day camp i love puppets trying to throw large dolls into basketball hoops i love crazy campers that say funny things and can't walk in straight lines i love having to take a camper to the infirmary every hour because they keep getting hurt i love swimming away from boys, fishing poles made out of sticks that don't catch fish, and paddle boats at swim time i love the fun, silly games we play during rec that make me feel like a kid again i love rock-paper-scissors, duck duck goose, four corners, and story time i love how the kids get excited over the smallest things, hearing their loud squeals and bubbly laughter, and seeing huge smiles plastered on their cute little faces i love watching God at work through everything we do at camp :) i could go on, but i'll just say there's lots of things i love about day camp. it's been a good week.

A huge smile crept onto my face after reading that. It brought back many memories from my years at New Life Camp. New Life Camp has been such a blessing in my life--all the way back to my own first year at day camp in '97, rededicating my life to the Lord at a campfire when I was 13, having a blast at teen week, being a CIT for four years, and visiting campfires each summer and being encouraged by the testimonies of childlike faith.

At Providence this morning, there was a celebration for missions. The man who represented missionaries from the US and carried the American flag was Mr. Bob, the camp director of New Life Camp, with his wife, Mrs. Debbie, following. It brought me much joy to see their smiling faces, remembering those weeks during my summers that have shaped my faith to this day. I greatly admire these people for their passion and dedication to the calling of Christians to "step out" in faith that the world may know Christ. It's neat to think that many of the things I learned at NLC have helped me to be the Young Life leader I am today. What nice memories to reflect on.

Time to get back to studying.

I tag Rachel and Lacey.

Something of a Reflection

2008 was a sweet year:

New Years in Times Square.
Collide ski trip. Turning 20.
Young Life girls beach retreat.
Baird’s lakehouse throwdown.
Jersey.
Work week at Windy Gap.
Summer camp at SharpTop Cove.
Camping at Falls Lake.
Road trip to Charlotte and Carowinds.
Fall camp at Rockbridge.
The State Fair. ECU football games.
Christmas at home with family.
New Year’s with friends.

So many fun experiences have passed. Now we start the year 2009. Who knows what it will hold?! It’s exciting to start fresh once again. The way time flies and the all things that have happened in my life still blows my mind, but I really couldn’t ask for a better season of my life.

It was wonderful to be home for break. Besides working at Starbucks, I had a lot of time to relax and rest, which is exactly what I needed after a long, hard, and busy semester. My grandma came to live with us for a few months after freezing at my uncle’s house in Chicago for the previous month. It’s been a huge blessing to have her around. I’ve gotten the chance to sit down and talk her for hours on end. I have no right to complain after learning about the things her eyes have seen and the experiences she’s endured. No doubt, she’s a tough, strong, passionate woman of the Lord and such an incredible encouragement to my faith and my heart.

It’s funny to look back at my simple year in comparison to the full, extravagant life she’s led. Her eyes have seen so many hardships with being caught as a teen in the middle of Red Revolution, her father having been taken away and having to flee from the communists, and starting up her life again in London as a nurse, falling in love, and raising a family in the prosperous land of America. Sounds like such a great adventure! I wonder what kind of adventure I will share when I come to the end of my time...

Speaking of adventures, I just got back from an incredible trip to Colorado to ski at Winter Park, which quite honestly could end up being the highlight of my year. I’m still amazed at being surrounding by the breathtakingly beautiful snow-capped Rocky Mountains. Colorado continues to be one of my favorite places I have ventured yet. I can't wait to go back! If anything to remind me of how little I am and how great God is, it’s the gorgeous mountains of Colorado.

As this new year begins I’m trying to let go of my planning mentality where I continually map out where my life will lead. Those of you who know me have seen my schedule lists! I have no idea what is in store for my life! I didn’t make any resolutions this year partially because I didn’t make time to but also because I want to learn to let God lead my life where he may will it instead of trying to make-up some lame plan on my own.

Believe it or not, I just read the verse on my cup of tea and look what it says:

“You will show me the path of life;
In your presence is fullness of JOY…”
~Psalm 16:11

Could that be more perfect? :)

Happy 2009, dear friends.